Little Things #1

The bus was crowded as usual while I was on my way home, packed with people wanting to get home from work or school. As the bus lurched forward from a stop on Main Street, I noticed a woman holding the hand of her little toddler child and also attempting to keep track of at least four grocery bags full of heavy groceries with her other hand. The seats were already occupied on this full bus, and the woman wearily tucked a loose piece of her black hair behind her ear as she searched for a possible seat for herself and her child.

A few stops passed by, and several people got up from the seats to get off the bus. I was expecting someone to offer this woman a seat, because she was clearly in need of one. But to my surprise, this woman remained standing with her grocery bags tucked firmly between her feet and her hand still holding tightly to her toddler's. A group of teenagers occupied 3 seats near the woman, absorbed in their conversation and laughter. They didn't notice anyone else on the bus. It wasn't until a few stops later when a man finally noticed the woman's situation and offered her a seat. She gave him a fleeting but grateful smile as she sank down into the seat and took the toddler on her lap.

What could this woman have been through today? The faint, dark circles under her weary eyes made her look like she hadn't slept in 3 or 4 days. Anyone who looked at her would have seen how tired she was. But even so, half of the people on the bus didn't offer their seats, nor did they show any kind of concern for the woman. The people in need should be represented fairly, even if it is by a single action such as offering your seat for someone who might need it more than you do.

After the man got up for the woman and her baby, her face looked so much more peaceful. She actually could hear what her child was saying to her, keep track of her groceries, and keep an eye out for her bus stop. And the man? He was fine, looking at the toddler with an amused expression for a while before stepping off the bus.

Seeing that one act of kindness from one person inspired me to write about the little things we can all do throughout our days. Each moment comes with decisions we can make that will affect others around us in either a positive or negative way. Even a simple gesture like offering someone a seat on the bus can become seeds of hope for the receivers to sow in the lives of other people they encounter throughout the day.

Our attitude has a huge effect on the people we interact with. When we choose to smile, when we choose to make decisions that could brighten a person's day, those little things make a difference to at least one person. Knowing that we have that kind of power, we need to make those little choices every day, in every moment.

The key to freedom lies in yourself

Regarding the common phrase, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," Actress Salma Hayek once said, "the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder." Everyone in this world has the right to love themselves. No one should ever have to look in the mirror and fill their heads with a thousand things they wish they could change about themselves.

 

It is part of human nature to be insecure--one of the most dominant questions in our lives is, "what does he think about me? Does she like me? Do they think I'm cool?" Think about it. Have you ever walked into a room without asking yourself, "what do these people think about me?" When someone tells you you're ugly, a part of you will listen to it, even though all the other millions of cells in your body may shrug it off.

 

This is why bullying is becoming such a prominent issue in schools today. We always hear and talk about bullying in schools, but the stories related to the issue never cease to appall us. Last week, our school had an assembly in which several students shared their personal stories of their experiences with bullying. It shocked me to hear several of my classmates talk about the pain they went through, because at first glance I would have never guessed they had experienced something that horrible.

 

We have all been exposed to a form of bullying at some point in our lives. It could have been minor, it could have been long-lasting. But the pain was still real, the feeling of insecurity strong and intense. Especially among children and teenagers, who usually feel the most insecure about themselves, this issue has become a leading cause of suicide, self-harm, self-hatred, fear, and depression. Our childhood is the foundation for the rest of our lives--the things we see, hear, and experience go far into our future. Every child deserves to grow up knowing and hearing that they are beautiful and appreciated exactly the way they are. They need to be taught that they are meant to love and be loved at a young age, so that they can walk in confidence and help others around them do the same.

 

Yes, people need to stop bullying. But there is an easier solution. Instead of waiting for the bullies to stop bullying, we could change the way we view ourselves. The answer lies in our own attitudes. Complaining about how other people treat us is giving those people exactly what they want. They want attention; they want to feel good about themselves by putting other people lower. We have the power to not give them what they want. We have the power to love ourselves.

 

Even the most beautiful person in the universe worries about what others think about them when they walk into a room full of people. There's no point in wondering what that boy or that girl thinks about us, because that same boy or girl wonders what you think of them. What matters is what you think of yourself. The way you carry yourself has a big impact on the way you appear to other people. Don't shrink back. Stand tall, keep your head up, because there is nothing more attractive than a person who is sure of who they are. If you think you are beautiful, why does it matter if that boy or that girl doesn't?

Turning hindrances into advantages and curses into blessings

 

Imagine a boy struggling to walk across the streets of a busy town, taking awkward, stiff steps. He longs to join other boys in soccer games and wishes they would not mock him because of his disabilities. He longs to be a great musician, but no one would let him be near a musical instrument, concerned that he would damage it. People think he is a disgrace to his family, one who cannot bring any kind of pride or honor to his parents. No one encourages, defends, or believes in him. No, it's not a hypothetical situation. This boy is experiencing what is constantly remaining a serious issue—discrimination against the disabled.

How many actions do we perform in a single day? We sit, stand, walk downstairs, pour ourselves a cup of coffee, write, read, play instruments, have stimulating discussions with others, and think for ourselves without realizing what we are doing, what each of our body parts is required to do to perform each simple task. At the end of the day, we don't close our eyes and thank the heavens for arms or legs or a mind.

So when someone comes along who doesn't have one or many of these basic things we take for granted, we can't help staring just a second longer, wondering why that person isn't, well, "normal." We automatically and subconsciously label him or her as "abnormal" or "strange." What they do not have is suddenly magnified and that's all we see when we look at them. Their limitations, their inabilities.

Having disabilities is not something we, as humans, have control over. According to Disease Control and Priorities Project, about nine million infants are afflicted with congenital disabilities—disabilities that one is born with. There are so many pregnant women who get their fetus checked for how their baby is going to turn out, and as soon as they figure out that something about their child will not be normal, they begin to worry about how their family will cope with this unusual situation, and some mothers are even driven to abort their baby because of his or her predicted disabilities. It's because disabled people are not treated the same way people without disabilities are.

This is an issue that ties in personally to me, because I have an adopted brother who was born with a complex mix of many different disabilities, including cerebral palsy, epilepsy, and intellectual disabilities. Growing up as his sister, I have seen so much that has made me question the fairness of how disabled people are treated. When I was younger, my brother's disabilities would frighten, embarrass, and frustrate me. I would be forced to stay by his side always, because we wouldn't know when he'd have a seizure. I watched him take 14 pills a day and still collapse on the ground 3 to 4 times every day, eyes rolled back, body rigid, and foaming at the mouth. I was there when a group of kids would always come up to him and mimic his awkward gait and mock him for his disabilities. Seeing the way others treated him and viewed him as an outcast, I began to think that my brother was really not made to fit in with the rest of society. I was embarrassed that he was my brother, and I used to wonder why I couldn't have a normal brother who would play with me, talk with me, tease me a little, and protect me like my friends' brothers did for them.

As I got older, I began to see that my brother was just a normal person on the inside. He loves sports and music, he loves going to school, and he's always willing to help people. Wherever he goes, if people give him the chance, if they reach out to him, he's guaranteed to make them laugh. Even though he is limited by his disabilities, he does everything he can to make himself and others around him happy. The saddest thing for me is imagining where he will be for the rest of his life, after he graduates his school. Will he be stuck at home all day with nothing to do? I'm really hoping he'll be able to find a job, finding what he loves to do and being given the opportunity to do it for the rest of his life. It's always painful to tell him that he can't do something he really wants to because of his disabilities. He doesn't know he is disabled, and even though he wants to go out and run around with the other kids in the neighborhood, he can't because he has to be supervised at all times.

I know there are many people in the world who are going through or have been through something similar. It's true that disabled people aren't receiving the same opportunities or being treated the same way the rest of society is. There are amazing stories of people who have turned their disabilities into blessings rather than curses, surpassing the skills of people without disabilities in whatever they are passionate about. This is because they have chosen to embrace the way they are and ignore the mocking voices that tell them they are not good enough for society. In the face of adversity and tribulation, they have emerged victorious in their understanding of who they are. I think that's more admirable than anything a person born into the most ideal circumstances can do.